I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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