so let's talk penis.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
