I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
