I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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