i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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