Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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