4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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