I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just want nice things and good sex
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
