think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
