I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
