I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
