He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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