In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize