After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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