Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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