It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
