Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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