My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
