The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
