saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
