Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You were trust falling into bushes
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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