I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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