i can't believe i had my finger in that
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
