This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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