Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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