last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize