yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
