I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You were trust falling into bushes
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
