i'm signing you up for texting rehab
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
