apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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