and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
