Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Never joke about your clitoris.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
