the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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