I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize