I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
