Nicole vs. Life
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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