During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
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