There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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