you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
