Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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