i'm lost and i look like a hooker
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
