But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
