I need help removing her.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
