Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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