She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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