Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
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i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
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We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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