Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
