I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
