actually, I'm a sock model
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
