my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
