yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
