I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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