i jhust puked up my retainher.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize