doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
