kristin has been a bad kristin
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
