what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
